there're many things in life that cant be controlled. i'm brought up in this society, i'm socialised this way. yet there are so many thoughts and values that i dont hope and dont want to be socialised to.
like giving respect to elders. i'm not disrespectful. just that why must it be the young respecting the old when the old doesnt respect the young. right, i dont have to give any respect to someone who doesnt respect me. i can answer back politely, but that doesnt i respect the person right? i hope so. i'm still angry over last week's issue. i'm still angry that i cant just talk back and argue the way i want, just as i would if i'm with my peers. i really still feel my blood boiling and i can feel the vibration, due to the boiling, coming from my stomach.
so unfair. my thoughts are not respected. she didnt talk to me in a nice way and straight away deny that my thoughts are totally wrong and incorrect. perhaps i'm angry cos i lost face in front of my cousins. and they probably think i'm stupid as well. so embarrassing. but even after a few days of thoughts, i still dont think i'm in the wrong. if she wants an apology, i might tell her i'm sorry i cant apologise to her. i thought she should be the one apologizing, though that's not possible. i'm really not wrong. i'm not discriminating the foreigners. i dont have a prejudice against them. it's just that i dont like how Singapore isnt feeling like Singapore with so many foreigners around. everywhere i go, i see foreigners. and it's bad that they bring along their bad cultures together with them to Singapore. what's worst is that some of them dont even want to adapt to singapore's life and keep comparing singapore with their homeland. if that's the case, they seriously should just go back to their homeland lah. if you wanna come here, just jolly well settle down and live like a singaporean. i hate their accents. it's not like their cant talk without accent also. i watched the "i guess" and the chinese national also speaked like a taiwanese after staying like two years in taiwan. so why not the foreigners in singapore too? it's just like my friends who study in australia also can talk like an australian when they're overseas, so why not adapt to whatever society they stay in?
according to my superficial knowledge
cities only become too large. when there's an overpopulation of migrants in a city, utilities of locals will drop. because cities are not in equilibrium, and their cities are really too large, therefore their migration to singapore increases their utilities. however, perhaps singaporeans' utilities are decreasing due to their immigration. this is only my stupid analogy of how i'm feeling. this is not necessary true, since the government aims to achieve a 6 million strong population in singapore. perhaps the optimum population is 6 million, where utility is the highest in singapore. which means that singapore is still too small and can still accept more population growth. but the more i think of the 6million, the more depressing i feel. i feel singapore is so overly populated. congestion is like everywhere. the congestion is overwhelming (in my view, since i've never experienced other kinds of congestion in other countries). i dont like it that i have to stand on the MRT during non-peak periods. i even have difficulties alighting the train during these non-peak periods. planners in singapore are so rich they dont commute by public transport. they dont know the difficulties and unsatisfactory experience that us public commuters have. i'm not anyhow saying this based on my own imagination, but this is really a fact. the most authoritative planners are rich enough to possess a car and drive on the roads. with such convenience, and also high sunk cost, why would a car owner commute by public transport? anyway i really know of planners who plan for transportation in singapore, yet dont commute by public transports :( see, our public transportation is planned by ppl who dont understand our demands. they always say, waaah we have increased the frequencies of our train services, we've extended our MRT lines, we've constructed this and that. indeed, it has service has improved, but supply doesnt meet demand. so why are we targetting at such high population when we're not even prepared for it? we're at most 1million away from our 6million target, yet public commuters are already feeling the strain due to the growing population. so sad right. the govt say will listen to us, but voices cant be heard. it's just like me rambling here, yet i wont have enough courage to go voice out my thoughts.
anyway, back to my original topic, that's the elders respecting the young. i know how it feels to be respected. it's just like my dad. he may disagrees and feel i'm super ignorant and empty brained, yet he'll respect me and tell me what's wrong. i may get really angry with him at that moment, but i'll realise my mistake and accept what he says. accepting doesnt equate to agreeing. i can still disagree with him but i'll agree that i'm stupid and not knowledgeable, probably cos i feel he is more knowledgeable. but that saturday's issue doesnt make me feel as if she's more knowledgeable than me. actually i should be more humble right. i'm too proud. that's my flaw. and i like to think that i know alot when i only know a little bit more stuff, when in fact, i'm still stupid as ever. my dad's right. that i have alot more to learn. and i lack self discipline. he even once told me "i tell you, dont ever smoke okay. cos you lack self discipline. once you pick it up, i know you'll never quit it" not that i want to be a smoker, but i think that's true. cos i really lack self discipline. and i'm quite stubborn. once i think and reason with myself that i'm right, i'll stick to that thought.
sian, i shouldnt be wasting my precious time thinking and getting angry over smth so unworthy of my time. but again, quoting from tzu, "i'm not god. i cant forgive and forget. i remember and revenge". LOL!! what's my revenge? actually i just want to tell her all her flaw in her face. that will be my best revenge and medicine to cool this boiling blood in me.
2 comments:
the "problem" of foreigners coming into Singapore or any other developed countries will always exist as long as there are differences in development of countries.
I think it's inevitable that Singapore has huge foreigner influx. It's a fact that most Singaporeans won't take up "low-level" jobs like construction worker, cleaner etc. That's because a majority are educated thus they feel that they deserve a better job.
For Singapore which is still a highly developing country, there's a need for these foreigners to fill up those jobs which Singaporeans don't want to take.
Although I don't particularly like foreigners, we have to be understanding towards them too. They left their hometown to work in a foreign land in order to make a living and send money back to their family. They probably came to Singapore because they didn't have much choices.
okay I think my comment is too long.
ahaha whoaa yihui ar... why all your posts are super wordy and mature-like? ahaha. you've reallyyy matureddd like alottt la. hahahaa. i feel 5years younger than you. xD
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