Speak Mandarin

hahah i'm reading old newspaper, which i've kept for urban module's further readings. and that issue has a lot of focus on speaking mandarin, like how Singaporeans based in China are writting to MM thanking him for keeping the policy of learning our mother tongue in school.

He encourages people to speak mandarin at home so that we can cope with learning Mandarin in the future. It sets me thinking like, does speaking Mandarin at home really helps. Like me, I speak only Mandarin at home and if you were to ask me to speak English at home, I feel totally weird and out of place and I cant speak fluent English at all. hahaha my dad keeps saying that out English are lousy and we've got to speak more English amongst ourselves cos both of them cant speak fluent English. But i simply cannot communicate with my sisters using English cos it's just a habit to speak Mandarin when i'm with them. The same applies to ALL of my relatives. It actually irritates me when they speak English to me. LOL i know i'm a 怪咖. Anyway, I cant speak fluent English before primary education. I learnt my English during my primary education.

It's funny how he said that their chinese campaigns have made more people watching the chinese channels. hahaha personally, I feel, all along, most of the people watch the Chinese channels in Singapore cos it's more exciting and entertaining than the English ones. Like how I'll hear people from other races watching Chinese serial dramas. I think it's cos they're nicer to watch.

Anyway, I also think I have a problem. When I watch Chinese channels, I read the English subtitles and when I watch English shows, I like to read the Chinese subtitles. Okay, actually is cos I rather read than listen. LOL. But everytime when I watch English movies, I watch more images than listen to what they say if there aren't any subtitles. My problem is: I can't catch the English that people say elsewhere in the World. Singapore has it's own unique Singaporean accent, which is awful. I feel so embarrassed when i use it in English-speaking countries cos their accents are so much nicer, yet I cant imitate them. I realise my thoughts are all very jumbled up. and i cannot explain them fully. No wonder I cant do well in exams. 

I don't want to continue already. My whole idea of blogging this entry is, speaking Mandarin at home makes me not want to speak English outside. I like to speak Mandarin but I don't mind expressing thoughts in English words. Bilingualism doesn't work well on me. It makes me a confused person. I like to speak in Mandarin but don't really enjoy reading lengthy chinese essays. I don't like to speak in English, but I'd prefer to read and write in English. I don't enjoy lenghty English essays as well. But given two essays talking bout the same issue, I would like to have it in English, but reading all over again in Chinese is not bad, cos it gives me a better insight to the issue. Back to my urban "Density, Diversity, Design"

Oh, btw, I'm against the hanyu pinyins available at the bottom of the Chinese words in the Chinese textbooks. If I'm someone who dislikes reading Chinese, I'll prefer to read the hanyu pinyins. That defeats the purpose of teaching you how to write in Chinese. It's meant to guide you when there're new Chinese words and you don't know how to read it. Maybe I still like reading Chinese. haha. but probably when the words are bigger and easier to read.